Do You Wish You Had Spoken Up?
Are you leaking your power?
I have been seeing a pattern that is so pervasive for us as women it seems to be a universal shift we are all trying to make. As children we were told to be “good” “play nice” “get along” and while it was probably well-intentioned direction, it often translated into skipping over our own internal needs and people pleasing. I’m deep in my own learning process right now to clear out this behavior. You too?
What does it look like?
- Saying “Yes” without checking inside to see if it feels good
- Not being able to say no or renegotiate an agreement when it stops working for you
- Not speaking your truth when you know others won’t like it
- Taking care of everyone else’s needs before you feel you can even look at your own
- Feeling you did something wrong when others are angry or upset, even if you know your intentions were good
- Staying in situations that drain your energy, but feeling obligated to “stick it out”
Often we have been taught to feel small and worthless if we did not agree or meet other people’s needs or even do what they want. We’ve been subtly taught to be less powerful than we truly are. We have stayed in conversations, situations, jobs, friendships, and much more, longer than our souls wanted to.
So where do we start to shift this behavior you might ask?
Realize that things can never improve, change or grow without knowing your voice. When we hold back and respond in-authentically or fail to speak up, we keep a piece of the puzzle in our pocket that is needed to solve the problem. There is no possibility of finding a solution that is better when all the pieces are not on the table. We limit the ability to experience wholeness in a relationship, business partnership, family, workplace and community when we hold back or pretend what is not true for us.
It takes courage, yes, but it is not possible to have the experience of harmony, wholeness, balance or authenticity without our full selves being honored. Practice listening inside, honoring your own voice, being uncomfortable with speaking your truth, staying true to you.